im waitin for U....to colour ma life....n ease ma soul....

dream nitemare....demons angels...

2007-01-12T08:19:00.000+08:00

T.H.I.N.K

2007-01-11T19:41:00.000+08:00

for a beautiful bond is form where two individual tie thier hearts.....

rmbr wen he promises to nvr make u cry...

rmbr wen she says he alway's be her baby boy...

rmbr wen he'll do anyth to catch her attention...

rmbr wen she dresses up to impress him...

rmbr wen both made a promise to understand n trust....

now take a step back....we're all those part of a procedure...

b4 the pain....or we they simple words u memorize n recite.....

i may nvr be able to understand y such occur to evry relationship....

maybe its juz true.... luv is not enuf....to make things work...

but if he loves, he'll sacrifices for ur happiness....

he'll appreciate u

he'll argue n irritate u

he'll remind u of how impt u are in his
life...

he'll make an effort to remind u that ure
rmbred...

so DOES HE?

wat is stated maybe true or false....still argumentative...

but do ask urslf..... does the one u love , love u for who u are....

or try to chg u into smth ure not....

if u spent the past few min readin to this crap....ure half way there...

if u deserve sm1 beta than its as so,

if u luv sm1, let them go...

if they come back, its foreva

if they're gone, its simply meant to be....

for i admire those who keep thiere lite of luv burnin....

in thier heart..simply not juz physical bonding....

luv urslf...b4 u luv another......heeee

???

2007-01-07T20:24:00.000+08:00

i didnt noe how i got all angry.....in rage i shouted.... y was i so mad.....

i didnt want to shout at them....but i did.....i was so mad....

i saw this guy b4 the train door open....i was pointin suzan to the
deck opp..... he was aggitated as he was infront wen i was
pointing.....n all i did was not to notice him.....

i trip over the guy shoe....or he tripped me.... so i juz continued
walking..... he was mad as i didnt aknowledge his presence.... he
tapped me from behind n shouted at me....i said "sori" n i walk....

all he needed was to be seen..... as he feels invisble to the
public......almost impossible to be seen thru the bare human eye....

oh yesh....all i gave him was an aknowledgement.....but khai juz had to gv him the attention........

these are the living ghost....they are only daring wen ure scared of
them.....for me i c rite thru them....thier insecurity......their
lost.....they are vulnerable.......invisible......

thus if u make them feel "seen",,,, the'll come back for more..... for i pity such ppl.....

i was mad.... at that time...

as nth hv chg.....i can c wat other's barely noe....it so painful....as
these ppl then are against ma words or action...till they noe wat i
already KNEW.....then they begin to understand ma action wich they qn
ealier....

n im not expectin any1 to understand wat im tryin to say..... but all
im askin for is for u to trust ma actions......coz smthin i juz cant
tell/ hv no time to tell.....but i noe....i noe wat im doin..... n if u
noe beta, correct me where im wrong.....

i feel blessed.....

amin....

year end...

2006-12-29T23:25:00.000+08:00

afta ma 19th bdae....evryth seems to be in the right path for me....yes
im strugglin wif skool n evryth.... but overall im happy...

khai n ky probably having fun at indon....wish im there
too....considerin how much i need a holiday....beautiful
beaches....star studded skies...n sunsets.....im juz that kind of
guy.....lol

n yayid called.....like finally bro..... oh...2006 is over in 2 days....n welcome 2007....

n yeah...ma horscope says i shud be more +ve

hahhahaha....thats it....

im OUTz

year end...

2006-12-29T23:18:00.000+08:00

i luv u

2006-12-25T20:00:00.000+08:00

for all the sadness i can think off n write.....it all diminised wif a click of a button.....

so here... im writing of how gr8ful i am to be here....sittin in this
chair.....surfing thru ma tots.... n being able to smile lookin back at
wat hv begun n ended is the past close to 3 yrs of ma poly life..... oh
yes...its comin to an end soon....for i will take a leap to another
chap on another page....

for all the burnin flame that has burned or warm ma heart....it is all
worth to this there... im gr8ful for evry1 i hv met....share ma
tear...ma joy n laughter..... i wanna be able to c ur smiles n tears of
joy wen i proudly leave this campus.....3 yrs....how fast time flew
by....im countin down to wat i hv left.... n im happy.... i hope i will
always be....

to sham n tma.... pls do not doubt wat i hv to offer....i luv u
guys.....from the bottom of ma heart..... lets juz say... im juz goin
thru a face of learnin...but ma heart n passion will always be wif u
guys out there....

for ma belove pusaka seni n andayu..... yes....uve been the flame of ma
life.... the apple of ma eye..... i hv grown thru journeys wif u
guys....all so sweet n memorable in ma mind..... all im askin for is an
openess in heart.... to hv visions...to achieve all 2gether..... dun
eva let any setback fail u.....instead.... let it be a stepin stone to
strive on..... for i hv always believe in u, me n us.....thanks for
always makin it work.... i luv u guys......

amin....

for i nvr regreted a day....wen i step into the doors of this campus,
tho academically it is not satisfying.... i cant help it...its kinda
too late.... i hope to explore n exel in a course that i wud
luv.....but juz not this one i guess.... but evry moment...evry
bond....evry fwenship i foster....tho its small....but it add to
complete the puzzle of ma heart.....

for i cry.....of pain....of soon partin...

but ma heart smiles in resenment....

i luv u all...all ma fwens.....no matter from whr ive met u...or
wen..... but i really do luv u..... n im sori if im unable to make
time.....for a call....a msg..... but it doesnt mean ur 4gotten.....

once a fwen, always will n always be a fwen....

no matter thru black or white.....

thick or thin.....

im blessed....

finally...

2006-12-11T20:42:00.000+08:00

its all in the dark...as i move as a shadow behind evry stinge of possibility available....

i realise maybe its here where i belong alone in the dark..... fear u
may ask is nvr a factor i take into consideration as it killss me to
fear wats comin....

its strange how identity switch plays a role in our life....take for example two budds....

a- mr nice guy

b- the "mean guy"

to woo a gals heart a will try to be the mean guy n b will instead try
to be mr nice guy.... its true..... its juz wierd...why we pretend to
be smbody else...maybe we' juz fear rejection thus we duplicate our
lovable fwen's characters n wat we adore abt them... in hope that the
gal will luv us for wat we are.....but again...arent we're lyin to
ourslves...hahaha...

i noe i wanted to write abt the sydromes ... but i guess juz not tday....i noe3...soon aite...

untitled

2006-12-10T18:21:00.000+08:00

so much in ma head.....im all tired.....i wrg abt ma priorities...but cant blame maslf for ma passion....

im missin ayid n nad so so much....

i barely even meet them a call or even an sms....sedihkan..

wif me still ard holding on....i dunno how will i pull thru this.....a part of me juz learnt to let go....iklaskan je....

finally today tmoarts trainin....fifi n fiqa will be dancin...fun to c
them dance...n i had a blast dancing wif fiqa the whole day....juz wish
evry1 was more lively....but i guess evry1's juz tired.....haiz....

i donno much but i behind ma skool werk....i need to buck up....if not i'll be in deep shit....

again having prob wif adaptin to skool....

ma med check up comin up....wanted to hv a get away to indon afta
dat...but it seems impossible....ma mum wud want me ard for raya
celebration....haiz....there goes ma awaited vacation...if oni she
knew..... but i guess she's rite smhow....

tho i noe wat im capable of....ma ambitions n aspirations.....but i oso
noe where i stand....n how much say i hv...so ive decided to
flow....who care whether im happy rite...as long evry1 else is
fine.....hahaha....how weird the world is.....im barely awake...but i
noe i muz smhow start of ma pile of werk....or at least sort wat i hv
to do......god...help me....

astaghfirullah....

bad sad dead

2006-11-28T19:52:00.000+08:00

here close to 1 am....conversin wif the GEMsBONs online.....but at
tpy....ayid nad n soni ar hanging out.....erghh without me......miss
them seh....didnt even bother to ask me along....ya ya....it juz happen
lor... coz they stay near by wat...n im like not there......wateva
ar....

juz miss u guys so much....tk cr ...nites....

arggghhhh.....still complainin over nth...

2006-10-23T04:57:00.000+08:00

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charm-ed

2006-10-23T03:10:00.000+08:00

well this is really a time to arm...hahaha....hm...so pack wif
stuff....im enjoyin it yes....but sacrifices....so much....ya...its
worth it aint it??? entah la...

i juz wanna really seek 4gvness to ma very2 gd bro n sis.....coz i cant
make it on the dates u guys set to go out....i noe2...but i really am
packed...wif attachment n practices....hm...

n yes...ma photoshooot wif ma two angels was excellent...as u can c the
pic in the gallery n the videoclip i did the whole nite....but of the
poorest quality... i'll try to upload a beta one soon...but its gr8
ar....hahaha...i luv it at least....

hm....still can hold on...not sleeepin yet...awaiting the moment i collapse into bed....

hahaha...gd sleep then...for now...im stationin maslf here...till further notice...kwnag3...

thats it....

outz

2006-10-22T02:38:00.000+08:00

the nxt big thing?

i was thinking abt rolling stone...by too bad...i dun hv ma photoshop.... this is the best i can do...muahaha

2006-10-09T01:40:00.000+08:00

b4 i tuck maslf into bed..... a thought went thru ma head... of how much i miss u guys....how much i miss this.... how much i had ur trust, ur luv...
thus b4 i lay to sleep i wanna thank allah for crossin our path in life...for makin it happen....for giving me the chance to meet u guys.... if i will nvr be awake again... i noe...i nvr regret the time i had spent wif each n evry1 one of u.... i luv u guys... wif all ma heart.....

2006-10-09T00:43:00.000+08:00

a month to andayu raye dot3 theater rehersals..... haha...this time expectation wud hv to risen up to occasion. Andayu has made it thru so much n manage many successful productions.. hopin that this one will be splendid....a musical...a dream that once forseen by gr8 leader...like yana...
this dream doesnt belong to sm1, or a certain person.... it a dream seen thru the eye of a group of talented soul who dedicate time n energy towards wat they love, enjoy n thier passion...
thru that gainin experiance build fwenship...trust... n love for some....

this is life....ma life....andayu....whr it all started... if u misunderstand wat this grp of ppl is tryin to achieve...to build.... start to the basic...

i luv each n evry1 in andayu...

*****************************************************
poster n tix... stresss....hahahha.

there is so much i wanna n can give...yet there isnt much room for me...
i guess wat they say is right... i dun express maslf enuf for ppl to understand me....thus its ma fault.... ive always tried to be beta....smile more... puttin maslf in oth's shoe... n evryth seem to be beta...i thnk god for helpin me thru this journey in life....
im juz tryin to help...that all i can say.... im dissapointed n sad... if u wudnt let me....but its ok.... i noe he has a beta plan for me.....insyaallah....

but on a lighter note...im far more then elated
well performance was cool....hahah....wasnt nervous n had fun on stage.... a start of smth new..... it felt so right.... Temasek Mo Arts... i luv u guys already....we'll grow together k guys....

n yeah i hv to declare some stuff....to all expectin kpg ubi/ CTD production....me as playboy danny...
im sori to dissappoint....its nvr gonna happen.....the production has crashed to ma dismay....
they say wen one door closes the otr opens right....

watched high skool musical.....haha....damn gr8....haa...gabriella...im in luv wif her...

"so lonely b4....i finally found wat ive been lookin 4"
.....................................................

till we meet ma love.... tk cr always....

2006-09-26T22:01:00.000+08:00

like i already said.....i got ma ns pre-enlisment documentation n medical check up......i hv to reg n book ma med apptmt.....

soon enuf huh.....alhamdulilah, sup paper wasnt difficult.....

i think i'd be fine......i figure.... i hpe u guys wont 4get me there afta.....

still got missions to finish up...

-7 oct show wif Temasek Mo'Arts dance team
& sm othr raya show....
-org kaya at NYP, Raya dot dot dot... in nov
-DK com....ape namenye...hm...i 4got....heheheh
-danny @ CTD.... a long wait in january...
-and biggest awaited hope...GPA or any competition wif ma dear PS
*******************************************
then afta dat im goin bald......yeah....i donno y....but ive decided to go bald afta CTD production......n im dying ma hair for raya....smth i wudnt do....but i will....hahaha....
k...i beta settle this registration thingy.....peace outs...*~*~*

2006-09-26T07:44:00.000+08:00

akhirnya....kt dpt theme song for watak danny...i luv this song.....muahahah
**********************
Hattan
Rendang Tak Berbuah

Sunyi dan gelap
Terlantar dalam telanjang
Di pintu rindu
Hidup dan matiku disisimu

Sakit yang datang
Menguji kasih dan sayang
Antara merenda semalam
Mungkin takkan berbuah

Hanya memadukan
Namun tidak mengenyangkan
Musafir lalu nan dahaga
Di jalan panas membara

Begitulah hakikatnya
Di mahligai kesakitan
Yang mengundang sahabat
Saudara jauh dekat
Menghembus nafas pilu

Ibu mengertilah
Aku sengsara
Lemas berendam airmata
Rendang kasihmu
Dalam gelora
Jadi rebutan selamanya

Berikanlah pengertian
Waktuku di hujung jalan
Berbicara bahasa duka
Tanda penyesalan

Manapun aku berlabuh
Pastinya untuk desamu
Biarpun tak bersubur
Biarlah tak tertangguh
Di telapak kakimu
Sakit kurasakan
Jadi peneman
Masa semalam yang silam

2006-09-24T22:04:00.000+08:00

im so packed wif tall ma commitments....
but im having so much fun n time of ma life......

let me get it rite...

andayu raya production
CTD production @ kaki bukit cc
Temasek Mo Arts @ Marine parade cc....

oh yes....@ Temasek Mo Arts..... last sat......i had so much fun......ma heart sing wif evry step of the dance.......

well time is runnin out for me......NC pre-enlistment reg letter juz came in....i hv to reg n book ma medical apptmnt.......so im gonna enjoy this last few months b4 NS.... GPA>....im really lookin 4ward toward dat n my aim is all there....all exited for it....hahaha....oh yes i cant speak much now...i need to go.....sm1's awaiting ma call.....muahahha.....nites guys....i luv u all....
n to ma PS....n andayu of coz....i luv u guys.....n thank u for fillin ma life....

salam ramadhan!!!

2006-09-16T14:57:00.000+08:00

the nxt movie im gonna watch is The MOS

hahahha...wat a tittle.... this is abt magic i think...so i hope it cheers me up.....hahahah..

endless dosage of hindi movie.....yeah...i dun mind a weekend like this...

2006-09-16T14:28:00.000+08:00

the othr nite where i met the love of ma life...oh shucks.....hahaha....
nady yayid n sahida catchin a movie....DEVILS WEAR PRADA afta we ate pat laupasat wif shirin, at midnite...lols
i had attachment the next day but that didnt stop me...i luv u guys lots.....

so life. . haha....we're back to sq 1.....

Cinta 3D prac smlm....updates it be in JAnuary....how sad kan...but yesterday like almost evry1 was down...i had a damn bad morning...n was tryin hard to cheer up... but wif attitudes(lol) n moody ppl...i crashed.....
thx fiz for bein there....hmph....

but dat push back...hari raya production is comin......wohooo....arent i exited..hahaha...

n since suzana (or suzan as i like to call her) will be back from her dance thingy at KL this week......next week can go dance at marine parade....im literally killing ma slf wif so much things to do...but its fun.....

n the 2 hot NTU gal at werk are simply eyecandies that endlessly provide daily dosage of happiness into ma life...mauhahahah.....n yeah i got one of thier no. , she passed it to me...long story...muahahah....

niwae im growing older soon..... 25 oct, 2nd day of raye....is ma dream age...19....can i be stuckk at this age....wahahahah.....

i teared the nite away....wen i reach hm....this movie made me cry...

its a spledid movie abt luv.....i luv the music...tho u dunt understand the language...u cud feel its meaning....
so today i continue cryin coz i feel asleep watchin disc three in the morning.....
it one of the muz watch hindi movie....
how real can this be......LOVE is strange,,,,,wen love come knockin on ur door...u let it leave....bcoz of ur dreams.....but r u happy? satisfied...? think abt it.....
luv n death, u aint got control over it.....
gosh ma eyes are ugly..... after endless cryin...im so like baby ....muahahah....
shut up....

2006-09-12T23:57:00.000+08:00

fuck up at home.....wif sm stupid mindless issue, i juz wish dat evryth cud juz fall in place.....but sm things juz noe wen to turn downhill..... fought wif dad again...over the stupidest arguement.....wat else $$$....$$ is such an evil thing that it pt all other factors like care concern n luv into trash...

arggghhh....i mean seriusly...there is a problem....i hv ma own solution...tho its wrong......y stop me from doin it....if u cant provide me another solution.....that can solve ma problem.....haiz....

evryth at work, attachment is fine.....
gosh ma dad is naggin like a mum.....erggghhh...
choas.....thats the word.....

in this darkness....
i need u so much....
to hold ma hand...
shine the torch....
n walk by ma side...

2006-09-09T03:04:00.000+08:00

pending pics...i juz pile them up here....

2006-09-07T23:01:00.000+08:00

why isit so cruel....
wen ppl have problems they come looking for me....
i dun mind....coz i be glad to lend a ear n gv a word or two....
but wen im bzy with sm stuff work or mth urgent...they'll lightly throw the white flag.....
throw thier minds outs.....n surrender to the burnin sticks.....
batang2 yg membakar diri sendiri.....
masalah hilang uat sekitika
muncul kembali....
bunuh diri...
amcm???
sampai bila harus begini????

so puff all u want....puff for all i care....
its not ma life...
it ur....coz IT's A CHOICE....
a choice u make....
n U will be responisible for lettin urslf thru this....
for all i care for....there's so much i can do.....
so dun let ur slf down....
dun dissappoint ppl who cares for u....
ur parents
ur frenz...
me....

2006-08-26T23:53:00.000+08:00

as soon as i was online....>>>>
*sHe* i want tulip not rose. -B = f (PE) - sent 8/26/2006 2:23 PM:
When you are lonely
I wish you love.
When you are down
I wish you joy.
When you are troubled
I wish you peace.
When things are complicated
I wish you simple beauty.
When things are chaotic
I wish you inner silence.
When things look empty
I wish you hope.
-ms tulip-

************************
=) hm.....today went to town afta kompang.....ate at banquet amk b4 dat......played lan...which bore me to hell....hahah..not really...war craft was quite simple ar...so ok la.....

n at town that was a PUBLIC OFFERING and the item on offer was me..... a generous attempt by the gang to look for potential galfwens for me......leaving ma num on tissue papers ard marina sq....OMG.... paiseh nak mampos..... hahahah...

then the long walk ard town.....wen we reach esplanade.....bang!!!! ayu...... ma ex....hah...amek ko.....at first i was like ok.....then i felt like earth was pulling ma heart down to its core....the wind whispered along a song of emptiness.....felt like tearing.....for no reason....but thx to dhil, khai, meer n ayul....made me laugh...as usual....how long can i be sad wen i hv u guys....hahaa....
cam y eh......wat if played endlessly in ma head....like i do miss her....n wish i cud turn back time...n be more matured to woork things out wif u wen i had ur luv....n luved me for who i am......thank you.....

baby ive let u go,
but now i miss u so....

so we walk up town.....till orchard...then went home....had fun.....thank u guys for cheerin me up......if the day comes wen i fall in luv again.....i owe it to u....hahha....cam tul je.....tak dpt ar....
kk....tomolo hv to be at cheng san cc at 9.30 am....im gettin popular for ma lateness...haha....so beta tuck in now....nites....

2006-08-24T00:33:00.000+08:00

blessings....

it comes in diffrent form.....for diff ppl...
the world is fair.....the person who utters these words are likely seen as crzy / insane...
tear flow down ma cheek as i feel blessed upon wif another's happiness....
im blesseds wif a strong heart to handle all this pain...smtimes i fall in luv wif pain that i simultaniously hurt ppl.....ppl whom i luv n cr for...... so is it ma fault....

im juz being plainly sincere rite now....honest....im hurt agin wif life suprises....
i lost again wif ma pathway.... i pain by the games of the heart.. i wish sm1 cud juz read it as it is well written on ma face....but often....ppl are blessed wif the capability to ignore such complexity of the heart thus they ignores wat has been put rite infront of them......

2006-08-22T01:44:00.000+08:00

watched smallville season 5 till episod 20....OMG....lana really broke clark's heart, n mine.....how sad.....yeah n all tokin abt findin a gal....the one to share ur life wif.....wat for....it all boils up to pain n sorrow......

maybe a portion of it is worth....if the time is rite.....she will come....how cliche....lol

thus ma approach...i dont gv a damn...i keep maslf occupied....be me...n ENJOY!

tho life has taken a turn on me...not the smartest kid in class...but can say the worse.....i mite even fail ma first paper...... the line in life has juz be set rite.....its time for me to fail..... but i dun really feel down as i noe.....even pitfall......are steps to fufilling a dream.....

i was so down afta CCM paper...but dk cheered me up.....

MY DESTINY-Katherine Mcphee

evry mistake, evry wrg turn,
evry time i lost ma way....
lead me to this,
moment of bless tonite....

Finally i can break free...
Its all chgin in ma Destiny
dream come true...
its so funny that now i see...
how diff life turn out to be....

2006-08-20T01:18:00.000+08:00

so tired of bein sick...thus i went out....to torture ma body.... ate swesens wif dhil meer ayul n khai,who only came in time to join us for ice cream.....

so afta dat we had long hrs slackin n playin pool...the usual kind of game......even if i win ma opponent wud say its luck....wat can i say.....lol

thus afta we all had our tournements.....we walk down town.....then caught a match not ma regular thing....but it was quite ok...thus then we head for the padang.....movie screenin by class 95 fm.....talkin abt that i rmbred recently on the radio power 98....this gal who call in for a contest....afta she won the dj ask...which is the red hot radio station in spore....she confidently said "98.7"... i was like laghin ma arse...!!!!

im so so so not well yet...tomolo got drama prac...maybe call in mc for work...cannot take it....arghhh...beta sleep now....exams on mon...i beta start muggin....

2006-08-19T00:13:00.000+08:00

im burnin at 38.9 degrees.... hee....im literally HOT....

how sick can i be......im like coughin ma heartn throat out.....ma nose running like the jam at eexpress way.....go 2 the doc???? wat can they do..subribe me med n dats it..... ma chest hurts at times...n i hv to breath constantly wen i feel like collapsing.....

but im gonna be fine....like khai said its all mind over matter...i'll get well soon i hope.... im kinda down wif maslf....i kinda sux at practice lately......

n missing gpa so much......i hate to say it lar....but i do..... if only i cud relieve that moment once again...... u nvr noe wat i feel...coz it's seldom ppl come along n understand me.....well if they do.....i feel as tho im not makin sense & toubling them wif ma overexagerated problem..........as in....i suck as a human.....lol....i a mean2 creature....living wif that name....

actually tinkin abt it....i miss te crew of gpa...i miss faezah....in ma head it cycles abt how ppl i luv think abt me.....coz i noe im workin hard to achieve ma dreams....but the QN is always
DO I MAKE U PROUD....

life.....like u noe this comin three weeks...itd be a rollercoaster ride for me....
i smtimes wish for sm1 to hold me wen im down.....well im lonely.....
now u noe.....

2006-08-18T02:03:00.000+08:00

HOT!!!
Hot blog alert!!!
hahaha....luving this new layout.....
wohhhooo......

wat r u waiting for? tagg~!!!

2006-08-17T22:07:00.000+08:00

im S.I.C.K..... heal me...cure me....i want ma voice i need ma energy....

3 tuff n stranous week ahead.....

so here ma killer timetable....

with effect of 28 aug....

attachment (tentative) 8-5pm daily... on weekdays

mon wed fri evenings>>>dikir trainings
tue evening>>>drama

thursday n sun evening >>> csc, freelance video editin assignment

sat n sun 11-6 >>>kpg ubi production training.....

to add....dikir com is on 3rd sept wich is ma datelin for the video editin job....thus u noe i noe....im gonna die......i pray that god gvs me the enrgy n strength for ma body to withstand such long hrs.....for these 3 long weeks.....amin

2006-08-14T01:55:00.000+08:00

im deeply touch by asya's testimonial that i can almost cry.....hahaha...i miss her already.....haah

yesterday at afiq hse was happenin....wif karoke seession....reenactin layar andayu....n juz chillin n laughin....but the best thing hv yet to start......the sewelness sparks off the moment we're reachin YEW tee mrt.....wif a single magic word...."Accident"....hahahaha...i donno wat got over me....but that was the most hilarious thing i evr did to a kid that was cyclin the opp direction....he breaks....n den speed of....paiseh lor....hahahaha....damn....then the north-ians.... went crazy....we went to a park at woodlands...n take pic afta pic afta pic...was damn fun la....it was an exellent idea to juz chill instd of goin to the all common pasar mlm.....

n today woke up to kak ati msg...that there was kpg ubi training...so i rushed to bedok.....then work....new supervisors hah....heee....masih bdk2 lagi....lol....and ya....suzan ajak me join her modern dance performance....shud i.....since yes the big news.....KPG UBI PRODUCTION has been POSTPHONED....hhahaha...so danny lek dulu eh.....

so i think im gonna join the dance......try smth new... wen opportunity doesnt come ur way......u find another door that leads to it....hehehe...amcm....berfalsafah.....tkle angkat....n farid's is damn irritatin, callin me matrep the whole day at work.....wats his prob....lol....

for goodness sake.....tapered pants are juz a fashion wear MIS-USED by the mats population....

well as it is in a song;
so impossible as it may seems
u gotto fite for evry dream
coz whos to noe...
which one u let go...
will make u complete......

hahahha.....tired n sleepy....tomolo goin to skul at 10 to study...me???hahaha...we'll c....

2006-08-12T01:05:00.000+08:00

im so tired but got presentation tomolo mornin...the goin to walk ard city area...then go to andayu gatherin at afiq hse....

time...
some ppl wait for it,
to heal their soul
to ans their qns n doubts
to fufill thier life...

im......waitin.....for u to come into ma life...to allow me to understand u.....to allow me to share ur life.....to answer u doubts.....to hug u wen u need comfort......to look into ur eyes...n ease ur soul......to wipe ur tears....to make u smile.....to hold u in ma arms....to make u feel special.....to plan sweet suprises for u....to walk nxt to u.....to be wif u in ups n downs..... to promise u i'll 4eva be true....to trust .....to care.... to luv u n only u....
so wen will u come???
coz im still waiting...

****************************
all blue...frozen as ice....so melt ma heart....warm ma life...shine ma days....

**********************************

it'd be fun n woohhhooo....if i can join this....

2006-08-10T03:05:00.000+08:00

I've never been the one to raise my hand,
That was not me and now that's who I am

Everybody needs to rise up
Everybody needs to be loved, to be loved

This what we dream about but the only question with me now
Is do I make you proud
Stronger than I've ever been NOW
Never been afraid of standing out
But do I make you proud

by Taylor Hicks.....american idol 5
********************************

im facing a little confusion in life....
thus im juz gonna leave it to him to ease this mind...
im thinking too much....i'll assume that for now...
haaahaaha.....fittin bills was the hot n crispy topic for today...

u fit ma bill
so mem...do i fit ur bill....
if i do.....take me away.....

im signed , sealed, n delivered
im urs.....

or

i said no, no, no no no...
coz ure not the one for me....
*********************************
ndp over......wohhooo......update soon aite...so tired...

2006-08-04T22:29:00.000+08:00

well felt damn tired....the whole day...as though ma body was abt to collapse anytime.....(muz be coz the late nite ar....watch sm freakin stupid movie....hard canday...abt cuttin male balls...hehe)
but alhamdulilah...im fine.....juz got back from prac.....cam today ma voicing suck ar......like pitchinn all.....today oso got kpg ubi training but tak gi ar...impossible rite to split maslf into 2....heee....

so juz check nyp webby for exams date....in two weeks time....damn...
tomolo morning kpg trainin again....im damn worried ar....but i juz gotta push this.......cmon.....elf...juz a month or so.....tun perak n kpg production..+ atachment in hand...i pray that allah will give me the strength to achieve sucess in all these area...iif i do fail....well it happens for a reason...wwat is impt is that i werk hard n the rest i leave it to him.....

btw no more presentattion....except for entrepenuership day....hahaha....cool...
hm......im juz gonna enjoy these few months....tired....who cares.....it unfair that i stop maslf from complaining....hahaha.....it strange tho.....haahahha....but i bet i still will...6 months to graduation......hahahaha.....well so it'd be......

i miss this chap of ma life most.....i will definately...its been gr8 noe all oof u in mcg especially.... the ppl in crmsc......andayu....i'll miss it alot.....im not gonna stop here la....insyaallah....continue to persue this.....

.....
lets pretend ur mine....
cmon baby we aint gonna live 4eva...
let me show u all the thing that cud do...
i noe u wanna be 2gether....
n i wanna spent ma life wif u.....
....

2006-08-02T10:45:00.000+08:00

well presentation for ccm is abt to start.....well u nvr noe wat happen if ma grp members mark me down again this time....thus...juz smile n hope for the best.....hv fun.....coz we aint gonna live 4eva.....hahaha......

let's pretend ure mine, we can juz pretend x2 yeah...
u got wat i like..... u got wat i like.. i got wat u like..
oh cmon...juz a taste n u want more....
so tell me wat ure waiting 4....

cmon baby we aint gonna live 4eva...
let me show u all the things that we can do..
i noe u wanna be together..n i wanna spent ma nites wif u.....wif
u...

"4eva" by the veronicas
how i wish im deeply in luv....heee....

2006-07-31T23:59:00.000+08:00

watched desprate hsewife....i almost tear....wen lynett said to her husband.....
"u scared me to bits......i already let u go....."

haiz.....im smtime feel like giving up on maslf....i noe some of u do......i donno y i got to be so stubborn headed...... well im sick of being bad....n sick of being the good person too....
i really think ma life's a mess.....but smtimes it crosses ma mind that im hvin bad days....
im a messs....

well dk was gr8......but im damn tired....

i wanna thx those who held on to me......yet im still slippin at the edge of the building......
im a trouble to myslf....i mess up ma own life....
thus i really donno wat to do animore...
pls do 4give me...

4eva by the veronicas

"let pretends that ure mine.....we can juz pretend, we can
juz pretend...
u got wat i like.... u got wat i like.....i got wat
u like....oh cmon
juz 1 taste, n u'll want more
so tell me wat
ure waiting 4...."

"cmon baby we aint gonna live 4eva,
let me show u all the thing that we cud do...
i noe u wanna be 2gether..
n i wanna spent ma nite wif u...
wif u....
so come wif me tonite....we can make this nite last 4eva...."

2006-07-28T03:15:00.000+08:00

how do u solve a problem, wen the rpoblem is U....
it rather disturbin n complicated...

but made simple..... how can i reassure u that im happy...
well i saw a sinistic smile on ma face, of satisfaction...
but wat hv i gain....

nth.....but im happy...i let all out...
tho smtimes truth hurt...

u can turn to ur right....then ur left.....then the nxt moment the're gone leaving u ALONE...

u can carry sm1...guide them true...gv them hints....still they'll get lost...

n they simply blame it on u......failin to c....wat uve been thru...

n simply forget wat u hv n are.....

simply...misunderstood.....

gd bye...

2006-07-25T23:54:00.000+08:00

i asked...

y do one's day be filled wif smile...
then the nights wif tears....
is it simply a natural cycle ....
n how do we prolonged our hapiness...
wen ppl u cr for....dissapoints u...

sm1 answered;
happiness is destroyed bcoz of emotions..comewhat may..in short.

wen ppl dissapoints u,
it is normal to feel down
and tt ur happness is being driven away..
it is normal wen ppl tend to think abt it wen they
are alone.

but u have to remember, how long will u
b in wait for the shell to break for tt someone to
make up their dissapointment in u?

sometimes, u really have to give ur heart and
feelings a break. ease ur mind and b fresh. u shud
b fortunate tt urs isnt de worse...

***smtimes u juz realise ure not needed....so move on....
wen one door closes...the othr opens....

i hope those words are true....
......i dun understand....
n u dun understand me....so wat the f*#^?

2006-07-24T03:14:00.000+08:00

played kompang @ IVP silat closing ceremony
**************************************

ma pic....latest.....all taken in the same jacket tho all look diff..

tagg.....keke....tk cr all....

2006-07-21T03:02:00.000+08:00

Every second chances.....begins with a first step.

Jenna Dewan and Channing Tatum in Touchstone Pictures' Step Up - 2006

muz watch....wohooo....so exited....

2006-07-21T01:44:00.000+08:00

i cried, cryin.....it wudnt matter y.....
coz i wanna cry...n aint ashame to cry....

u laugh at me..... yet im still alive....laughin wif u...

i fall......yet i still stood up......wen u were still laughin there.....

********************************

Ini lumrah hidup,
ini rezeki masing2...
Dosa jika cemburu,
walau hati runsing...

Tabah kan hati,
minda & jiwa...
Iklaskan setiap,
satu perkara,
itulah yg sewajarnya....

2006-07-13T23:55:00.000+08:00

can i aSk U....r U the 1???

smtimes u juz wanna hv sm1 who crs....
smtimes u need sm1 to hold u....
smtimes u wanna share ur life wif sm1...
the rest of the times...u hv ur fwens.....for comfort ...wisdom n strength...

amin...

2006-07-10T11:34:00.000+08:00

with Layar Andayu down....its nvr rest for me...

hee....

project are catchin up......like yana pesan...complete ur diploma 1st...jgn pasal seni plajaran hancur....haiz.....im gonna miss evry1 that has graduated...oni felt it afta the production nite....

yana n aishah.....thx for bein there for me wen i first came into mcg....the times i spent wif u guys were simply golden n kept deep within ma heart.... u guys made me feel like no stranger but treated me like family.....tho we apart....u guys will be close at heart....i miss u guys already....krg da cam ma kakak seh....especially u yana....thx so much for evryth....luv u guys....

to zila.....to the most happen babe in mcg...
without u ... tak happenin ar...as simple as that.....so do drop by weneva u can.....rindu seh those dancing session pat the dim mcg room....the lapaking2.... the funny joke.......will always be ma cutest n most hip n funky sis...

to rafi, wak & kal...
to rafi ,tho we nvr really got along. i wud like to extend ma apologies especially to u.... but its been gr8 workin wif u guys..... i thx all 3 of u for approachin me the othr day n dat will be one of the best memories n exerience i'll keep in ma heart.... thank you for all ur guidance...n carving smile on ma fellow PS-ian. dat truely means alot to me.....once again thank u....

i missin all of u guys already...nvr tot i'll feel this way....haiz....

so here a list of wats up for me;
1. Kpg Ubi Production-Cinta 3 Dimensi >>> 090906(tentative)
2. Tun perak(dk competition)
3. examinations start 14 aug -25aug
4. Industrial Attachment there afta.... startin 28 aug for 3 months....
5. then back to skool..3months
6. hari raya event (either production or consert)

...............................

2006-07-06T03:48:00.000+08:00

the guys r watchin the match portugal n france in the living room....hm....gonna pack ma bag for camp lata.....then finish ma assignment.....haiz....

smtimes i wonder.....i dont want to be in a spot askin who am i to u???
coz
evrytime u make me feel special... wen i awoke, i feel normal once again....or
is it within ur call, that u make evry1 feel special.....thus im simply nth to
U...

again n again n again

2006-07-04T11:49:00.000+08:00

like 1stly.....HAPPY BDAE MAMA>>> its 4th JUly.....wee...

but ma day can nvr be worse....went for the freakin report writing class....
miss HAYMA SUPPIAH....told me...elfi for ur ICA 2....u will be given 0 marks...(25% down the drain) coz ur grp member said u DIDNT contribute to this ica.......n im sure they hv tried to contact u....n im sure u dowan to repeat this module.....=) thus i guess of u werk with ur TEAM....on ica3...u can SALVAGE(as if im clingin to stay alive....but wait....i am)

wtf....like arggghhh......wateva ar eh.....im gonna juz show them ica.....why elfi is in this course...coz it SIMPLE for him.....insyaalah it be the best report any of u nerd ever c....

so nice in front of me...elfi are u ok??? elfi this elfi that.....u reported me...huh???

k bullshit....im juz chillin off.....tk away ppl.....

2006-07-03T19:39:00.000+08:00

how strange can it be...that ure surrounded by ppl...yet u feel so alone...
how strange can it be...u fall in n out of luv...
how strange can it be...wen memories is the most of ur darkess shadow....
how strange can it be...ure in luv w/o noeing the person....
how strange can it be... wen u demand answers yet u get another qns.....
how strange can it be.. that u noe nth at all....even tho ure the smartest one..
how strange can it be... time is so precious dat if its lost u'll nvr claim it back....

how strange...how strange....how strange......

2006-07-03T00:53:00.000+08:00

sick n tired of thinkin abt fillin this empty heart...
so i mite as well give it up...
im tryin to set ma life right...
tho it seems that wrong is ma tidal side...

it nvr seem to end...
i tot u were ma light...
but u were juz a glimpse
of what i nvr had....

there's a little star...
that shoots in the sky at the right moment...
y cant she be ma sun...
that light ma life...

well JUST MY LUCK

2006-07-01T01:28:00.000+08:00

ma Ps dearies..

tk note...

"some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness trust upon them"

"the most precious gems are not found beautiful, instead they need 2 be polished"

saringan pics.....maha nice!!!

i dun need any expensive presents...juz let me watch the saringan performance...n i'll be the happiest person on earth....

2006-06-30T00:22:00.000+08:00

a shot in malacca town....hahah...miss the hols man.....days hv been heavy n tiring.....skool has become a hassle....a mess.....smtime i ask y im here...doin smth i shudnt hv...not that i regret it...coz i got to meet ma PS dearies.....
like its more then word to express how u guys means so much to me...

today we did formation....well werkin hard...i thank evry1 of u for givin me ur support n make this werk...insyaallah....

quick!!!....colour ma world....

still waiting.....waiting for U....
still hanging on....for U
still dreamin....dreamin of U
still longing.... longing for U
still loving....loving U...
wen will U come?
and save me from this darkness,
that im living in....

a shout out to the five main cast of Layar andayu 2006, wich is on 7 july 06....break a leg guys....(gd luck the theater way as mention by my bestfwen fiza)..u guys will be gr8 on stage......u guys deserve a round of applause for ur passion....for strivin on....for ur dedication in this production....

Luv Prince Of Charms....Elfi

2006-06-23T16:18:00.000+08:00

like its almost 4eva......for me to update this blog, been in skool thos its the hols.....pack wif layar andayu prac.... i hv like two report due on mon....1 presentation n written test on quality ngt(a hell module).....

but for the sake of fwens that been wondering why i cant meett u guys to hang out....im really sorry....n u guys are always in ma heart.....ur words n support is deeply appreciated.... those r the key of strength i live ma days wif.....im tired...very.... but insyaalah we'll meet up soon...

n ya...hols ended for me....this mon like i mentioned...back to skool....

so juz beep me iif anyth....for tix bookin for layar andayu 2006....or any enquires... u can contact fadhil @ 91000824 or zahidah @ 90087440. do log on to andayu.blogspot.com for further details...

tk cr to all....

2006-06-17T16:11:00.000+08:00

im sick to ma tummy......argghhh

projects piling

prodution in comin.....

n issues that made me remuk hati.....

n ma tummy really hurts...juz got a msg frm sue...she's flyin??? to whr...hm...i dunnoe...

im so bored.....i need to begin ma project soon i think.....

life goes on doesnt it.....

refusin to live it the way it was, simply broken hearted....

2006-06-12T20:56:00.000+08:00

smhw i dunnoe y ma last nite entry is missin......n signing in to msn....w/o any PS-ian ard...seems pointless....hehehhe

so ya.....i cried for the first time.....watching SO U THINK U CAN DANCE....wohooo....tear of joy.....inspired.....totally....goosebums...repeatedly...

gosh.....im such a mess......maybe fiz hv sm truth i shud focus on dancing..... but i enjoy drama so much....hahaha....i dunnoe wat the future holds....but im exited....always dream to dance sm1 cheography on stage....wait n c....that day will come......hah....

werk is another thig...went to champ check hvin wierd stares from gal from rest sides...dunno good or bad......well wat can i say nth special happen.....hahhaha....

the show juz ended.....NICK won....arggghhh....im cryin like nuts.....like come on elfi ure juz watchin that fuckin show not IN IT......hahaha its freakin awesome..........wahahhahahah.....

im such an arse.....wakakak.....i'll be a BAD ASS......one day....

im happy......dancing.....dancing.....dancing....who crs wat ppl say...im dancing......im gr8 fulll.....

i kinda understand wat faezah always said .i can choose to be smwhr else .but i choose to be here
well i feel the same way......

3 week left or less....
u guys enjoy wat u are doin.but wen its time to focus n go intensive
sume crumble....i feel we all shud support each othr.... n make this a solid essemble...(if thats how u spell it)

it will b fun but u guys but im telling u guys straight dat its time to focus n dats it... let work together.....muacksss

othr than that...im happy...

lookin thru phto albums, finding smth to be sad abt....istead found many more reasons to smile....ahacks....

2006-06-07T20:17:00.000+08:00

kk....here wat im wanted to express yesterday during debriefing.....

well to ma fellow PS-ian....there is moments in life we part....tho i noe ma time will come soon....coz i hv less then a yr left in this skool.... i juz want u guys to noe...dat i luv u guys.....n keep doin wat u guys do best.... well i dunnoe y but ma feelin says that ma time wif u guys will be shortenn tho....

thus i take this opportunity to thank evry1 of u....coz u juz make me feel special....coz all of u are special in ur own way......n thank u for makin ma stay here worth evry min....

i noe dat goodbye will be hard...thus im preparing ma slf.....coz i nooe it will be very difficult....personally..... i luv u guys i really do...

masa tak dapat diputar kembali,
kehadiran org yg di kasihi,
walau pun pergelutan sering berlaku,
ku tetap kasih kpd mu....

hidupku andai bersinar,
di terangi dgn bintang2 hati ku...
tidak ada kata yg dpt dipapar,
salam syg kpd kesayngan ku....

ELFI ISMAIL...

=====================================

www.akurosak.com

hahahaa....like im so tired la... missed ica this mornin...luckily ma lec is nice enuf for me to join the fri class...n of coz i lied...

so here i am at dram prac at 308..... haiyo...im a mess ler....danial n pak long....likke i hv to chg n adapt to ma character every week....but pak long is more alive now..... juz need to hafal skrip.....i dunnnoee la...but i feel crappy.....ure supppose to feel good abt wat u do...but lights r at that end.... at least there's hope huh.....im cant figure wat im feelin....hm....well sat nak gi mos but sun prac for kpg ubi production.......at 11.15 pat bedok.....so how....elfi ooi.....

hoow eh....like dilemma.....

2006-06-05T01:59:00.000+08:00

hey.....i m sick of sad entries abt ppl lives affectin me so much....

lets tok abt luv....

haahhaa....not really luv but gals.....haah...wait...let me update u first,

so afta kpg ubi cc session me n fiza went town.....first was this man at the counter takin our orders n repeatin it at the top of his voice that evry1 at the restaurant noes wat we're orderin....while consumin our meal.....i notice the gal at the counter...maha belo ar temenong....ok2 ar....hehe....

nxt we watch She's the man....a freakin HOTT movie....amanda bynes ur so freakin sexy...hahahah ...

n oh yeah forgot to mention outside cineleisure was a few performance....first a silat performance...this ''datin" did her thing la eh.....u can nvr imagine how hilarious it was.....
nxt was a freakin typical spore bad...plays good music w/o a good vocalist....me n fiza we in the centre of attraction....where evry move we made can be clearly seen by anyone....theere i was shaking n minahs2 infront keep turnin thier head.....so we went of....

then went starbuck....we hv chichiwomen a raggae chick n emo chick at the counter laughin at ma crazy act at the counter wif fiza anticipatin evryth i say....i waas shy...damn i blushed...thats freakin lame.......

then went to bugis...shop shop shop....no i hv a torn pocket....a total of 70 buck spent in half a day......im back to sq 1.....spending ma allowances so briefly....hehehe...it was destressin....fizz..im suppose to call u....but i 4 got ur number....was it 1800-biatch....hehhehe

well to endoff this beautiful entry with a very beautiful quote....

"Sm ppl r born big,
sm achieve gr8ness,
sm hv gr8ness trust upon them....."

wif luv,

Elfi Ismail....

2006-06-05T00:49:00.000+08:00

Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
cause it seems that wrong
really loves my company

SALE>> the ultimate boyfriend replacement action figure...Who fuckin need a boyfriend wen u hv Elfi ISmail...

like sori ar fiza i had a gr8 day today out to town n meetin kpg ubi cast.....suppose to be happy entries here...but ppl keepin walkin out the door n it kills me inside....

im juz tryin to be strg.....aku pun ade hati dan perasaan....aku bukan tungkul atau batu yg kau basahi dgn airmata lalu campak bile tak diperlukan.....

im always here giving all ma support....but ma presence is taken invisible.....thus i dun c a reason me being there....or even standin/fightin for where i stand or lie...

i start of with a selfish plot...i admit....i wanted to showcase ma idea on stage......but then i learn to love each n evry1 of u in ma PS.....im doin this for u.....not for maslf.....coz u all matter more then maslf.......im selfish.....but u guys made me a beta person....to think for others......
thus im doin this dance neither juz for me nor u guys....but for US...

im thankful for evry1 who supported me......constantly pushin me......giving thier all... but stop crashin urslf to the wall....i cant continueously pick u up....im not superman....even superman cant save evry1.......lagikan aku hanya manusia biasa.......

i made mistakes in ma life....thus a door of opportunity closes on me.....but let me ask u....is it selfish to enter wen another door opens while the other closes on me.....wif an array of hope n beta opportunity.....is it selfish???

im juz tryin to live ma passion....isit wrg? am i selfish......

for im still always here supportin u...... hvnt u realise it......

this is one of the times i miss ham2 most coz.....i miss her listenin ears....for that i thank u so much ham2......

wif that i seek 4giveness to any1 i hurt.....forgive me of ma sins....

"aku berhenti berharap....."

ma dearies,

Our love
Is trust
U might as well take a gun and put it to ma head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this Anymore....

for the reason im still here is U....

2006-06-03T19:08:00.000+08:00

its the weekend.....sat....evry1 is probabbly goin out of country....headin to town to chill or club later at nite.....or at werk earning extra cash......me...i juz finish joggin 2.4 x2 = 4.8 km hahahha.....woke up freakin late, ate n jog......i guess i shudnt complaint n enjoy this kind of sat....n the tot of NDP will probably take up most of ma sat....well did i mention im gonna be helpin up with usherin.....hahhaa......wearin sentosa-like uniform....like those bus captains....eheheh

i shud be finishin ma overdue reports today....i'll try....muahahahaha....or maybe juz go out for awhile b4 that juz a trip to causeway pt wudnt kill....wud it....wif who u ask....hahah....me, myslf n i? duh, nth new....dun frat it....i smhw enjoy bein by myslf.... but then again....it maybe nice to hv company once in a while....perhaps ask mummy n farra to go along....muahahah....

2006-06-03T03:41:00.000+08:00

well u guess it....it 3.30am...im up here....reflectin on ma life..ma overdue ica is still undone....i'll get it done son...insyaallah....still workin on intro masquerade dance...n meetin Kampung ubi cast on sunday...

n now i heard that im gonna be up to option 2 at work( a line handling complaint )
cam stress lah eh......thinkin on how i hv no time to actually werk....but least to say...im good.....admit it....hahhaha....

n was juz smilin as i reflect back n readin entries of the days wif u guys, ma dearies PS-ian.....each n evry1 engraves a smile......u make me feel this life is beautiful.....

n days r passin wif me missing nad n yayid more then eva.....i only get a glimpse of nad at work.....n yayid....smtimes...he juz cant be bothered huh....well he's got he's own life too.....well he's ma bro....hahahah...

rabakz bro....went mos ladies nite....nvr ask me along.....erggghhh.....

hm.... smtimes ii wonder??? am i such a freak? or am i juz not that sociable...
or even an anti-social freak....heee...u tell me.....

2006-06-01T22:59:00.000+08:00

well 3.43 am....done ironing ma formal wear.....mite be down to mos wif zila n wawa..... after work tho......gosh....werk....afta that freakin seminar.......
ayid...is smwhr in his own world....n im in mine...kinda sad bt true...
its overwhelmin....
today im angry.....coz oni i cr.....
argghhh.... i'll juz live ma life.......

Empty heart....

starring elfi ismail.....

2006-06-01T13:05:00.000+08:00

i noe im suppose to be studyin for paper at 4....tho lec is at 3....its 1pm...i juz finish showerin afta gettin out of bed....muahahahaha....

its no laughin matter really...tho i dunno y im takin it so lightly....like suddenly...where's my priority.....damn it...im losing it......

gonna iron ma shirt, c wats up nxt...

confuseD....

2006-06-01T00:10:00.000+08:00

i noe i promise myslf early sleep....gettin to it the nxt 5 mins.....

** assignment n ica sok....haiyo...

so im juz thankful like the ps family has grown...n ps is engrave in evry1's heart....

n yeah....wat else i wanted to note....

practice was fufilling..... tho ma head is clouded....push me ppl....im suppose to teach u guy the nxt step yet i keep polishin the front n back....

ma head is clouded...im thinkin wrg stuff..or wait if im even thinkin.....gosh....astagfirullah....

n the ah ah meee errr.....craze is simply unique yet overwhelmin...hehehe

n luv the new randition of

biar gerkan air laut bergulung....
desakan ombak meragut nyawa pendayu...

continue by>>>

makan ayam yg kurang pedas kene beli extra crispy...
beli fries dari mcdonald makan dgn curry....

craps...
summary....i luv pusaka seni....

muackss....
time 12.17>>> late by 17 mins...

2006-05-30T23:12:00.000+08:00

im sad....dunno y ar...

i feel depart....like damn depressed.....now that evryth is fine towards production...yeah im gr8ful....
fiza got to her terms......n im so proud of u ma drama queen...it was damn simple issue like like wat fai mention.....the sucess of the production was wat evry1 was intending to achieve... like a common goal that cud simply unite us....

y im depart is bcoz...i feel a lost.... i miss ma fwens....ayid n nad especially....

then...there goes ma gpa teamates....i noe u guys evryth has to come to an end... like we hv our own pathways now......diffrent reach.....diff aim....i miss those times.....thos we can nvr turn back time....those we're the time we felt like one right.....now we many diff rights.....we all are growing up to be gr8 individuals......

i miss dhil who is so fun....endless jokes...he's enthuness....
i miss dok sense of wantin to noe more n more...his slengeness wich made evry prac worth it...
i miss ham2....alot...jannah...like i miss u most ar...dunno y....but its hard to c ya ard...
i miss farain complaints....n mentel gimmics....
i miss wirna comment and free flow of tots....
i miss sue.... laughing....n burpin so loudly n scolding me...with sound advices...
i miss marni.....fun n crazy acts...that juz made ma days...

I MISS feazah & friend so damn much........the trainings...

i miss those tears....hardwork.....long trainings....i miss the stage...i miss the nerve....
arghhh.....well maybe fadhil is rie...im still not over GPA>>>n i shud look to the future instead of lookin back
***tears juz flew down ma cheesks****

well to add....im gonna miss PS....especially to this 5 younger sis n bro of the stage: mai,khai,aameer,ayu n aminah....u guys chg me.....to be a better person...to learn to understand n initiate wats best for all....i luv u guys...

im actually donno why im continously tearin.....feel like ma time wwith u guys will end soon.....i be goin on wif ma life.....less then a yr time....im graduating....now kmpung ubi production will take up ma time....

well wir's lat week in skul also....haiz...so many goodbyes to come soon...

****tears****

""m a mess.....i juz breakin into pieces.....
tho im glue-ing evryth
back together slowly....."

2006-05-30T00:07:00.000+08:00

check it out ppl....testing tray...

erm2.... PS testin scrappic...

yg lain lum snap2....jadi make urslf available lor..hehehe

n dok.. hamba mintak maaf banyak2...

but his pic is worth a thousand words on its own...muahahah

2006-05-27T23:49:00.000+08:00

im sad....coz...im a mess...wif skool....

im sad...coz....ma dearies are too....

im sad...coz...i tried to do smth abt it but i cant....

im sad...coz...lots of stuff are juz getting out of hand...

but im happy....

coz i hv ma family n fwen, dearies that i luv...ma pusaka seni peep which keep me strg n moving......adeq which smtimes doesnt make sense but sshe now do..hahaha...

im tired....of no being able to chg wat i want, to express maslf, not appreciated....n sick of the floodin PIMPLES on this F^%&ing face...of not be courages enuf to do wat i luv....of being sick again n again......

well today i manage to fill up half of the masquerade thingy.... im not sure how its gonna look...but it simply can be calssified as a fushion....

im stressed...i am.....help me....save me....

for i hv always savED myslf....

"it kills to noe evryth, coz the truth is nth but pain..."

2006-05-25T03:43:00.000+08:00

Unforgivable sinner- Lene Marlin

Kinda lose your sense of time'
Cause the days don't matter no more
All the feelings that you hide
Gonna tear you up inside
You hope she knows you tried

Follows you around all day
And you wake up soaking wet'
Cause between this world and eternity
There is a face you hope to see

You been walking around in tears
No answers are there to get
You won't ever be the same
Someone cries and you're to blame

Struggling with a fight inside
Sorrow you'll defeat
The picture you see it won't disappear
Not unpleasant dreams or her voice you hear

Maybe one time lost
But now you're found
Stand right up before
You hit the ground

Maybe one time lost
But now you're found
Stand right up before
You hit the ground - hit the ground

You know where you've sent her
You sure know where you are
You're trying to ease off
But you know you won't get far
And now she's up there
Sings like an angel
But you can't hear those words
And now she's up there
Sings like an angel
Unforgivable sinner

2006-05-24T04:42:00.000+08:00

realli wonder y.....unforgivable sinner, been playin again2 in ma head.....

yeah im still up...its 4.40am....tho i open a word doc...nth is out.....hm....im so dead huh....

n wat telah happen sue.....i juz read ma msg....gosh....wat e hell....

so how now elfi....u need that proposal done.....cmon ar....work ur ass.....lazy bum....

hehehe...maybe i shower....den i start on it.....at 5 am??? hahaha....im really crazy...

view today rehersal clip more than abt 10 times....
well.....its a good start....thos time is running out.....
i kinda doubt if i can....but shit la elf....stop doin this to urslf....
u r ELFI.....be it......

alhamdulilah......dat got out.....now i hv a peace of mind...hehe...

not realli.....i guess i''ll tell maslf to stop worryin....

2006-05-23T23:50:00.000+08:00

well im back hm....wanted to blog yesterday but failed to...

malacca was fun n relaxing....but it had to end wif an arguement wif dad.....u may noe how awful it seem.....n coming home welcomed by zul's karenah.....well no offence zul.....if in the 1st place u dont wanna act.....save us from all the trouble.....coz all we are tryin to do is help......but for once....help urslf.....

so i bought mask for the maquerade dance......thx to ma grandma for paying for it...smtimes wen it comes to this kind of stuff ma mom wont/ refuse to understand y i wanna buy it........strange....

well i noe i bought nth for u guys.....juz simply bcoz there was nth worth buyin.....like i didnt even buy anyth for maslf....it was juz food n transportation expenses.......

n pic will be uploaded soon.....

for all the relaxation i had....it was insufficient for wat is up for me in the months to come....

like report due on tues ive yet to start.....skool fwen family n passion... is kinda a struggle.. balancing? im trying.....

niwae i be performin for kampung ubi cc....tho im buzy cant let such a powerful script pass infront of ma face.....hm... it touches on the issue on premarital sex....such a sensitif topic.....dealt so easily in the script thru potrayin sm1's inner thoughs n conflict.....

cam 1st time readin i felt dumb ar.....bein introduce to > INTIPATI/EKSPOSISI/pergelutan even words like memperlekehkanya.... was the few word i came across.....ive only rec babak 1-6(chap 1-6) yet its a wow.....cant believe the exitment im feelin....aha....its well structured i must say.....

moving on.......took mc from skool......but came for drama as usual......wat tiring mentally for me.....u ma body was like giving up on me......i pull maslf together....thx to ma ps mates....u guys made ma nite.......trainin ended off wif a very heartfelt discussion........like stuff were tot thru....n emotions dealt with.... problem str8ten out....

like the masquerade is gonna be really pushy n tiring.....i may be a painter, i need ma brushes n colour to potray ma painting n convey the msg.....thus u guys will make who i am......

im scared honestly....but i trust u guys so much...... its gonna be a worth.....

Luv u all PS-ians....

n to naddy n yayid....i miss u guys like hell....but i barely got time to meet up....this is the longest i ve not meet up wif u guys......haiz.....feels like 4eva......

im stuck wif this song "unforgivable sinner" by lene marlin

.....tho every1 else is asleep already...im abandoned.....hehehe....(exegerated).. shud i start on ma proposal??? im tired ar..

hmph...

we'll c how....

****continue bein exited for the Pusaka Seni Showcase......thats all the energy i need......all of u......each n evry1 is ma light.....that keeps me moving......this is dedicated to all of u..... thx for the support n cr..... i luv u all....from the bottom of ma heart...i really do....

2006-05-20T00:52:00.000+08:00

leavin 4 malacca.....later.....planning for the mornin bus....but ma guard feelin says.....we will take the bus at noon to malacca.....

yet to pack ma bag....kinda exited tho a little sad....

i luv u naddy, ayid, adeq,wawa, all ma mcg peeps especially those closest to me in PS; sue,wirna,dhil,dok,marni,jannah,farain,
zai,fiza,aniza,khai,mai,aameer,aminah,
rahayu,hairi,zul........

pray dat i hv a safe journey there n back home....amin.....

i take this opportunity....to say....i luv u guys n cherish all the moments i share wif u guys......thank you...i'll miss ya...

***i'll be back on mon nite.....muackss to all...

2006-05-17T11:24:00.000+08:00

thx la eh.....i got C+ for attachments.....thx to f**kin setan...dat dog.......

its a scam.....im serious....arghhh....useless....now ma GPA from 3.0 drop to 2.55 la eh

y the hell am i doin in this biz course....its simple teachin suckin up is evrth......nth else matters....

luckily im back classical....haiz....i'll try to revive from this....

study sudy study......semangat kental....

2006-05-15T00:45:00.001+08:00

its unfair to ma fans if i dun continue blogginn....heheheh....so ya..
a kitten in ma toilet....!! how cud anyth else be more dramatic. so ya we got a kitten in ma hse...a white baby furball....of all the discussion abt it was most intrestin wen chatin wif fiza....>>>

fiza: its so wrong la... NOW IM IMAGINING THINGS... boy + kitten =...................
*~Prince Elf~* :baby
*~Prince Elf~* :hehehe
fiza:baby..... yes... most prolly... but still... if your cutie little sis ask for it nvm... your bro??!
fiza:MUST BE THE TELEVISIONS!!
*~Prince Elf~* :hahahaa
fiza:im not going to scare you but you will get paranoid of its existence... like everywhere you rest/sit you will have to think first have the kitten been there to do its business or not...
*~Prince Elf~* :ur so funny....hahaha
fiza:and if unrealising sleep/drool on it... PIMPLES... YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.
you will go crazy... your mum will go crazy. you mum drives dad crazy. dad gets angry at bro. bro sad and blame the kitten. you little sister sad and defend the kitten.. fifi will not care...
wah... boleh buat production.
title: the anak kucing.
*~Prince Elf~* : true3

hahaha....gosh....n thx to ma big f***ing mouth i will may nvr eva be a main character....not that its a big deal....but duh!!...im stupid....haiyo
skrip....where's is the skrip.....arghhh..
n tjc productn....well the idea is there...applause....gd effort....
but bijan n ely rocks.....emo guy, ure gttin there....the other guy i dunno who...but damn there good....

so the kitty is still meowin in the jamban wif te lights off.....i donno, ma dad say its to train the kitty to do its business there.....

kesian die.... k la....im so sick....skool sok....hope i wont be late....da kene sound ari tu....

2006-05-07T00:20:00.000+08:00

since sm ppl are sick of ma COMMON entries....hehehe... i shall blog smthh new today...

heee....

well today was considered a ph for ma work place...but im not werkin...yahoo....so went to the island at the south of spore, SENTOSA... it's nurul suprise party......in the end ayid manage to join us afta werk....haha...but u noe wat....i waited for them at habourfront for 2 hrs.... but its nth new ar....hehehe... coz in the end i had fun....i realise i hvnt been workin out lately n im becoming fat.....hee......muahahahha...kekekek....as usual we play sevral game n ma team lost....again...hahahha....darn big loser man....

but damn it was fun n relaxin....cross over to the other side at palawan beach......then swim back across.....sadly there's no more plank....was swimmin with the gang wen there this hot chick juz sittin by herslf at the rocks at the oppsite....was jokin ard n took a 2nd/ 3rd/ 4th or....... glance...heheh

suddenly she wasnt aniwhre in sight.....bohoo.....

then ghouse n nurul almost drown.....hm....but luckily two heros we're ard....we tot it was a joke....but then...so tauhid to the rescue....saving thse two from the deeper end follow by me....i pushed ghouse out to a higher height then grab nurul to the same....felt good.....yeah....super elf.....hahahah....thanks to bro ayid for teachin me how to float earlier n also life saving technique.... wat a terrible coincedence....
so afta that evry1 chged while me n ma bro ayid juz chilled n fell asleep....ahah

n today also is a day where i was the radio of the grp...entertainin them with hits in both malay n eng....thx guys fpr hypin up ma confidence in singing....n to mala n shazanah....thx for ur compliments...i noe u guys luv how i irritate u wif ma singin...haha....thx for being ma fans....ahacks....mauahhaha

n ya went to the boring new musical fountain.....sm poodles irrratated me at the q...
bt damn i had a gr8 time....lookin at eye candies n couples makin out....muahaha.... ish3....
yeah the thing that was so sweet was tauhid n his galfwen....i dunno....juz make me feel like fallin in luv.....bleah....craps.....kekekeke

so im werkin at 7pm tommoro.....be chillin at home till then....yippy....

n aniwae.....YEah...im darker.....i got a tann to simply describe maslf...i look like OREO....black on the outside white on the inside.....its more obvious on ma body.... due to the singlet tanning....muahahhaha...

2006-05-05T02:17:00.000+08:00

im feeling sick shitty fat ugly dumb n retard

i miss eja n all the fun......
i still rmbr wat eja say if u feel good abt wat u do it means that ur improving
if u feel sucky then its otherwise.....

so wat do u tink....do i make sense.....????

wat if we dun dance during drama prac???
how wud it be like.???

wat if i juz shut up n leave all the training n practice to others????
wat wud it be like????

am i not needed...... i dont need credit.....i juz wanna persue this passion...
am i wrg.... i mean u noe i can dance...u noe i wanna dance.....
y are u being ignorant.... am i that bad....
till i become invisible to u...

so hv u had enuf....i bet u dont.....
n btw respect is earn not demanded....
tho it's a little late to earn it now....

but its worth tryin isnt it???

i noe......

2006-05-01T01:01:00.000+08:00

Where Is Your Heart - Kelly Clarkson
I don't believe
In the smile that you leave me with
When you walk away
And say goodbye

Well I don't expect
The world to move underneath me
But for God's sake
Could you try?

I know that you're true to me
You're always there
You say you care I know that you want to be mine

Where is your heart?
'Cause I don't really feel you
Where is your heart?
What I really want is to believe you
Is it so hard To give me what I need?
I want your heart to bleed
That's all I'm asking for
Oh, where is your heart?

I don't understand
Your love is so cold
It's always me who's reaching out
For your hand

And I've always dreamed
That love would be effortless
Like a petal fallin' to the ground
A dreamer followin' his dream

It seems so much is left unsaid
So much is left unsaid
But you can say anything
Oh, anytime you need
Baby, it's just you and me
Oh you and me

I know that you're true to me
You're always there
You say you care
I know that you want to be mine

2006-04-29T17:23:00.000+08:00

self explanatory....

2006-04-27T02:01:00.000+08:00

i luv ma new blog theme.....

im Mr Lonely or Nadi Seni

was chossin btw this two for ma bloggy theme.....u noe wich one i chose....hahahah.....

"Perform like no one sees u, Werk like u dont need cash, Luv like u
nvr been hurt..."

oriention was fine......juz worried bout production...u noe y.....look at the outside world.....wen ppl hear NYP....they will expect more afta GPA....will we be able to meet the mark....skool like temasek jc...is pullin its standards even hihger ....with thier upcoming production,

but like i mention i chill wif bro ayid....he's in luv hah....good for u bro....IM HAPPY FOR U....wish u all the best....go get her tigger.....

STRANGE IT WAS THAT BOTH OF US WERE IN STRIPE SHIRT BLACK PANTS N SHOES...

GR8 MINDS THINK ALIKE.....

***ps: Pusaka seni, or any1 intrested to go for this tjc production inform jannah....

tix 5 bucks only.... Gema Temasek 2006 "Gelanggang Si Awang Dayang.."

2006-04-26T07:11:00.000+08:00

well last nite....25 april 05....spent time wif bro ayid....its been so long since we hung out....i watched Take the Lead the 3rd time.....yup..im crazy.....went to this punkrock/hardcore exhibit at substn b4 dat..... it ma bro thing....

coincedentally...both of us were in stripe shirt....black pants n shoes.....
had much time to catch up wif life...reflect on life.....

today he goes too work happy...coz he's gonna ask one he luvs out.......thx to ma encouragement.....well is it wrg for me to motivate him???...he luvs her...n i tot it wud be beta if at least he gave it a shot......so he wont look back n say "wat if???" best of luck bro....i hope it will werk out......i worried n excited at the same time.....

mcg orientation today....i beta catch up on ma sleep...lackin of it...pimples are horrible......arghhhh.....
the calmness n quietness at boat quay....was the highlight of the nite...juz sat n chilll...then kinda walk ard w/o destination....we passed thru chinaa town, clark quay, tanjong pagar, new and south bridge rd....n more....basically end up at bradell ate mc n continue chattin.....

smtimes u're helpin urslf wen ure helpin ppl...
perform like no one sees u, werk like u dont need cash, luv like u nvr been
hurt....

2006-04-25T13:36:00.000+08:00

ma fav pic at clubcrawl 2006 but its kinda inbalance..heheh

the all charmin prince...who...me...hahahaha ...yr afta yr
the theme for our clubcrawl seems to be so glamorous....bring smth diff...i like
the "si bongkok" maybe bring on smth diff...maybe wayang kulit...jawa....smth
diff ar....heee....pat ni bole list down...pat di tanye...tediam...hahaha...ape
la elfi....opps...bebual srg lagi.....

the ealier post was on sunday...but blogger was retard for a day or
two...but finally evryth is sippin in slowly.....yeah....tues....last week of
break b4 goin back to skool n no practice today....meetin for orientations(drma)
is on fri...=( dun tink can make it...especially if they need staff to settle in
by 5pm.....like wtf la....work drama skul family fwens personal time....are juz
the basics of juggling life....

it wud be tougher if i do join an
outside organisatn....may end up sacrificing alot of stuff....am i ready??? i
dunno...

but im startin slow ....hm..... u noe wat the hot babe in Take
The Lead....she's jenna dewan...damn hot.....ahacks...

well...tot of
goin out....dunno wif who neither go where nor wen....hahahha.....

marni
im sorri if i got u at the wrong moment yesterday....be strg n take cr....

yup2....take cr all of u......

call me up wen u hv
plans......heee....

the everstylish turtle neck....the other day at town

this poster looks damn cool...i bet the show was damn
gr8.....raudha had 2 complimentry tix to A very British affair......wanna go
yesterday 8pm...but it was a little last min n no one wanna go wif
me...=(

2006-04-24T00:51:00.000+08:00

firstly to sue for the very superdupersweet testimonial at fwenster....dat definately made me smile....even tho it was quite a sucky day at werk....juz 4hr tha drag for a while....but strge tho i enjoy all those freakin conversation wif the cust....

its hard to hv big dream...

to understand n trying to understand that not evry1 are like me.....not evry1 has that much energy to push thru....im so ready to try smth new...maybe join zai's team....coz its evry sat....then can tok to marni abt mus's organisation....maybe can join dat too...i got suzana n kit to agree to com ovr n teach me some move.....if i get all this done....then maybe i'll stop complanin abt nth to do.....

it wud be easier rite alau ade duit.....gi for a course like jannah.....but where the hell am i suppose to look for 1000 bucks.... n a "fwen" called me....urgent wanna borrow 400 bucks for the aunt in hopital or smth...like i said ma pay doesnt even touch that figure.....n he said...."eh! asl duit kau bole dat sikit..."

likee wich richman son do u tink i am........haiz....this kind of ppl.....wen they need smth from u then they come lookin.....but sori...i aint got that much money to help u....

haiz.... juz ppourin ma tots...

nite ppl.....tho i luv all of u....who luvs me....

tk cr always...

"its easier to look at the big picture wen u try to understand instead of
pretending to understand"

was at three monkey restraunt at orchard towers the other day enjoyin ice chocolate.....and lotsa food....kkekek

2006-04-22T11:40:00.000+08:00

5 days has past since the start of ma 2 weeks break...
9 days left including today....

watched take the lead twice already.....

damn it superduper hott..

oh yeah club crawl was so damn tiring but fun....n so we had a meetin for the orientation yesterday.... it went well i guess....wish dat ppl wud speak thier mind n open up....it gettin there...im sure... =)

n so was suppose to werk 7-11pm on fri....instead boss ask the customer mania editin out.....
so we went to the 3 monkeys at orchard towers......ate like lotsa stuff....all were on boss...the iced chocolate was damn nice......maybe one day will go there n try out the burgers...coz its damn huge...its a nice pplace for a date maybe....but u'll gonna need $$$.... lots of it....hahha....

so afta dinner.....boss suggest to unwind wif the lifeband upstair....i was like wonderin...lifeband...duh!!! a club la....hahha....i cant rmbr the club that we initially wanted to enter.... but u noe i noe...the admission for guys age 25.... so boss did a little tokin....but then kak erwin had another fwen so instead we got into "naughty gal"....i wasnt the main worry....it was kit...coz he's only 17...gosh....but wateva it is...we were in...they all started mixing drinks n drinking....i was juz chillin out to the loud music boomin for the live band playin 3 hotchicks singing n doin thier thing....hahah...opps....shudnt elaborate....wanna noe more ask me...heee...
did i mention...boss paid for evryth..... me tini shirin n soni left to join nad n bib at ps....then we got a msg frm kak er.. boss was shakin his bootie n agnes is all hype up....most prob they all got drunk already by that time....hahahhaa....

n yeah....smtimes its hard wen all u wanna do is make smth betta.....it require sacrifice, eliminating our doubts n worries, courage n wits....but by supportin one another all this can definately be achieve.....i smtimes wonder y ppl cr too much abt wat other ppl mite say or tink.....if they hv a tot...they shudnt keep it....speak it out.....it applies to both party....

2006-04-20T00:18:00.000+08:00

i feel like shit....

im a bad brother
im a bad son
im a bad fwen
im a bad singer
im a bad actor
im a bad dancer
im a bad person.....
wen will i eva be gr8 coz wat im is bad or average....
im feelin so lonely......im lost.....
ma life is empty....
Gpa has always filled that emptiness...
now that its over i hv nth to fall back on....
tho i hate to admit it
on this honest a/c....
i pray dat he gives me that light, that will guide me....
towards wat tommoror offers....

2006-04-18T00:37:00.000+08:00

this entry is dedicated to one of ma bestest fwen....Siti Salwa

well i miss ya so much that no words can express it....
uve always been my pillar of strength and light of hope
during times where im down, ure always ard...

ur the ladder to ma dreams,
wen smtimes i begin to doubt who i am...
u see me clearly...u had faith in me...
u always told me i can.....n driven me to become
wat i am now...

i owe this spectecular journey to u...
i owe this to u...
i nvr imagine wat i be if i nvr met u...
thus i thank u...
for evrth u did...

im sorri if i hvnt been a gr8 fwen as u r to me...
im sorri if i wasnt ard to drive u as much....
but deep within this heart...
im tryin, giving it all to be a gr8 fwen
the best way i noe....

with this i juz wanna say...
i cr n luv u wawa....
ur a gr8 person....
sm1 i'll treasure foreva....

Elfi Ismail

2006-04-17T00:08:00.000+08:00

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	erotic
Your hugs are...	friendly
Your eyes...	burn into my heart
Your touch is...	awakening my heart
Your smell is...	beautiful
Your smile is...	entrancing
Your love is...	unique

Quiz created with MemeGen!

2006-04-16T01:51:00.000+08:00

well definately gluttony is one of ma biggest sin lately....been eatin n eatin n eatin......like there's no stop......ma face is horrible.....wish i noe wat to do.....facial....wat the hell is dat....it so weird to go for such stuff......ma left eye hurts, a lrg pimple on thleftside of nose....rashes that itch al over me.....im like dyin......but strangely i feel good abt maslf......not shitty....

so yeah drama was on thurs....like i donno y it ended so soon...like i wanted it to go on n on......but smhw they made me stop..... i dont feel the energy smhw from sm of us....maybe they're juz tired from the long day......hmmmm

fadh!rna req for me to do this....k fine....

Name 20 ppl you can think of right nowat the top of yr head. Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 20 people. Ready? Start!
1) yayid
2) nadia
3) sonia
4) salwa
5) adeq
6) dya
7) ham2
8) marni
9) amir
10) fadhil
11) wirna
12) farain
13) sue
14) zai(m)
15) zai(f)
16) uul
17) aniza
18) zul
19) anwar
20) fiza
now for the questions
1) How did u meet 14?
in mcg...during orientaion a gd fwen of mine was intrested in him

2) What would you do if u've never met 1?
i probably am not wat i am now...he's ma bro man...

3) What would u do if 20 and 9 dated?
hahahahaa...dok n fiz.....chemical reaction will take place

4) Did you ever like 19?
hahah no.....wierd....not applicable...

5) Would 6 and 17 make a good couple?
lesbians??? lol hahaha no la...

6) Describe 3.
sweet & determin

7) Do you think 8 is attractive?
She is in her own way...

8) Tell me something about 7.
she's the darkhorse of the GPA team n she's goin to a course at the academy of arts(if im not wrg) wich cost 998 buck...n im not able to go for such....n i envy her in 2-3 ways....hahah...but still luv u ham2...

9) Do you know any of 12's family?
not really...saw her sister tho...once at practice

10) What's 8's favourite?
hm....pusake seni....hehehe....us of coz...

11) What would u do if 18 just confessed he/she likes you?
i'll freak out....zul ure gay????(hee juz jokin)

12) What language does 15 speak?
malay english n a little chinese(??? maybe)

13) Who is 9 going out with?
farain.....hehhee (j0kin ....winks***)

14) How old is 16 now?
my age...19 this yr

15) When's the last time u talked to 13?
last thurs afta trainin on msn

16) What is 2's favourite band/singer?
nad luv a variety.....

17) Would u ever date 4?
i wud if she's single....i think i wud make myslf to fall in luv her if she is.... hehehe.... coz she's such a gr8 person....

18) Would u ever date 7?
ham2....tak cewet...hahahah......no lar ...she's like a sister

19) Is 15 single?
nope taken.....zai(F) be trueful....winks~*

20) What is 10's last name?
Md Fadil Bin -------- (kk...i'll try to find out....kekeke)

21) Would u ever be in a serious relationship with 11?
wo...weird..... hahaha.... fadhil n her make a freakin gr8 couple...

22) What school does 3 go to?
she's werkin

23) Where does 6 live?
amk...near wawa blk

24) What's your fav thing about 5?
her passion n strength...n the ability to get things done....

25) Have you seen Number 1 naked?
half??? hahaha....bro....this is exposure man....

2006-04-15T01:03:00.000+08:00

im gettin rash all over me especially at ma knuckles, elbow, knee.... arghhhh..n werkin mornin tomolo wen im actually off...but tini gv me sunday off instead.... arghhhh... wat a mess....

so damn itchy!!!>>>> im gonna die....arghhh....

editin is so damn stressin wif that damn slow computer provided.....

2006-04-12T21:36:00.000+08:00

when ma life is fallin into place.....juz gotto set ma emotions rite.....
niwae sadness n downfalls are part of life....here's wat i can recall...
-dad doesnt wanna buy me a new phone.......due to sm reasons....n suddenly he's the one wif a new one.....
- 1 yr left in nyp wich means bye pusake seni smhw...but im still hype up for this yr to come
- yup gotta admit opportunity in life are not in ma hand....so i'll try to make some...
- gonna spend lonely 2 weeks break starting nxt mon...coz evry1's either werkin or skoolin...
- i still got editin pojek on hand but im dying...im paid so poorly for this job...but ok la....
-some perceptions kinda totally off...corrected them already...
-i feel kinda retargic.....n been eatin like a pig....
- gonna be bankrupt tomolo... watchin take the lead.....so its a sacrifice.....
k....get over it....bohooo....k up u go...

so tomolo drama at 6....watchin take the lead.. n also last day of TEP.....well its been hell....i muz admit thats no diff from the werkin world... btw watch underworld evolution....freakin hot n sexy......hot3....
wohooo......such sexy couple....
urghhh...

gtg....watchin Chicago at 10...

smtimes i wish i cud help these ppl wif talents n potential....sm hv
problems controling their emotions....some hv it in their mind....sm doin it for
fame.....only those who hv the passion are those who i cr for......
smtime i wanna help all of them....but i cant....
so figures......

PAssIoN....is the basics to evryth....

2006-04-12T09:59:00.000+08:00

so so so...not really been at hm....hahaa....coz i went to the nursing chalet....hahha....strange itslf that im there....but it was fine....so basically on mon went there......ate then play sm game sleep....nxt morning was freakin early for skool.....as i went wif fiza n her two darls....hahah...
yup reached at 8am.....sign in...went for a swim.....then it rained....haiz....so i come out of the pool la....duh! kekek...

then i went hm had lunch....dance wif ma cutie pie farra Q.... then bought cakes for fiza n aniza....bilated bdae giler2....

ya ther was these chinese chick at the store....shes damn sweet man...hahaha...but was way2 weird...wats up wif me n chinese gals nowadays...lol

k 4get it....so was back to the chalet... ate alot n i mean alot of food.....slept while th rest watchg movie...coz it lags....so i end up wakin at 6.45 am....watchin underworld....super smashin n hot movie....fuhoo...i wanna be a vampire....hahaha.....so hott.....

kekek....rushed to skool eventho took ma last hr of flexi....wat do u expect...its damn far la eh....hahahhaa.....wat is happenin....hahaha

so u noe u noe u noe....im back in skooll.....bored..n wanna eat...im kinda losing ma voice...got meetin later at 3...if not im home by now...so sleepy tho.....take cr ppll....

i miss all of u whom i miss.....lol...

PS> luv u guys...n cya on thurs...

2006-04-08T03:05:00.000+08:00

was actually hvin fun chattin wif mira.....wen she suddenly went
offline....wonder y....hm...basically this "limeposen" issue i wud like to call
it is very intrestin.......wif refrence from Wak's entry ..march 27
2006
Negative Gossips? Cos Andayu is Famous!
ok
Limaposen, thank you so much for your feedback about MCG. Yes, MCG has another
name, Andayu which means Kumpulan Kebudayaan Melayu or Malay Cultural Group.
other schools had their own too like the usual one that we heard of is Perdayu
which is Persatuan Kebudayaan Melayu. the difference between Andayu and Perdayu
is ours are "Kumpulan" or "Group". While the other one is "Persatuan" or
"Society". That is why we could not use Perdayu. we had to create a new name and
out came 'Andayu'. Thanks for Farhan because he's the one who got that name.ok
next, Limaposen, you said, "i heard a lot of negative things about the mcg
lately, where members kicking out members, using people's money for own
enjoyment etc." look at siti nurhaliza. she's famous and popular. everyone knows
her. but the more popular she is, the more gossips, especially negative gossips
came out about her life and these gossips usually were untrue because it came
from sources that cannot be trusted and unknown. same thing as Andayu. the more
people know abt this group, the more bad gossips you can hear, which surely came
from sources that are unknown and cannot be trusted.

its juz really charmin to put it dat way.....cant believe that the GPA left such
a gr8 impact smhw.... i miss the fun at practice already......wen the hell trainin will resume......hahaha....soon i hope....
hope u guys like the new skin featurin urs truly **me**...hahahah....well i lUV it...
tk cr ppl...

2006-04-04T09:19:00.000+08:00

well its been long since i post a proper entry....hee...

so in
general.....i'll update on the series of event dat took place...(vely the
dlamatik..hhehehe)

april 3rd- back to
skool...bored to death.....that the end of ma exitin break.....

april 2nd- was suffer from post gpa syndrome n
also afta watchin TP i had so many vision ma time has limit me to do as much
that i want....

like sue mention
"things will be beta wen we puch aside the harsh fact dat time is runnin up n we make the best of wat we hv...."

was at csc the whole day till 11pm...finish editin the company's
clip....end of assignment...

april 1st- where
the sleep over fun began at 2am + in the chalet playin 'games'
(hehehe) n tellin
ghost story that freaked evry1....had breakfast then head
hm/.....first thing i
did reachin hm was eat again then edit the video
clips.....rush to werk at
6.30....pass the laptop to farid...he saved ma
life.....then reach tampines at
7....guess wat.....watchin temasek poly
productn....hahah....cool huh....we had
2 complimentary tix...so fadhil n me
went....

so here's ma review.... 4
1/2 star out of
5stars

Pentas 05/06: Akar Aku
Temasek Polytechnic, Malay Arts
Group (MAG)
1st April ' 06

it was a wow.... execellent performances
by the dance group n the gal
dikir...namely...
Kesenian Anak Tari n Nira
Nyer Tika....wich consist of
gorgeous gals wif elegance n syncromnisation of
thier movement.....the dance grp
was a compliment as they were superb n
danced wif passion i muz say....

the drama by Titisan Temasek was short
n sweet....padat ar...(if thats
the word..)hahah
only that fadhil tot it
ended abruptly.....n tell u wat
temasek auditorium rocks...wif diff
lightings....so many variation.....

the dikir was ok la.....its gettin
there...hahah...hairi was in
there.....i shall not further elaborate....

overall it was exellent....n
i congratulate the pres, productn mgr,
the superb artistik director n evry who
made the PEntas 05/06:Akar Aku a
sucess....gr8 job....

march 31- planin for
marni's bdae bash slowly sets in.......was at csc
in the mornin wif the
heavy laptop editin till three...then waited for jannah
who sucessfully
persuade marni to follow her to pasir ris.....the initial plan
was to meet
them on the train merely by coincedence.....by damn...i miss the
train while
tokin to sue.....muahahha....

so contigency plan sets in....
so to
round up we hung out together at pasir ris park face sm thunder
storm.....broke ma slipper dancing(as usual), saborin n form sprayin.....was
thinkin of doin a lrg scale party and ivite more ppl....but funds n time was
too
limited to plan such.....we end the day wif another suprise wif marni
that we
were stayin overnite wif her at the chalet....heheh(well its
actually marni's
mum company chalet....she kinda invited us....we planned
the whole bdae bash wif
mar's mum herslf)...
****well marni
u family rocks especially
ur mum....thanks for the warm
hospitality...hahaha...

march 30-
basically stress up plannin for
marni's suprise bdae party.....made phone
calls n freakin lots of sms(S)...went
to lavender to update ma passport only
to realise its extended for another yr to
the 31 of march 2007....i cud be
NS by then....hahaha....then went to sim lim
tower lookin for sm tv adapter
wif dad....

he sent me to woodlands lata
at nite to collect ma
assignment for the editin.(well was werkin so call as a
freelance editor
durin this week of blog leave....waited vely long...in that
period of time i
ended up doin these...

-taking pics of maslf =)
-tokin wif
dad(rather akward...)
-on the phone wif sue....
-n at the
same time
spoil ma dad's bike.....thus we end up 2 hrs under the blk there
repairin
it......i felt so guilty...coz im a dumbo wen it comes to bike.....i
noe
he's angry but he kept his cool, we repaired it together...not reallly, it
was more of me helpin him...hahaha....

"smtimes wen u least expect
it, u
realise that sm1 crs only in different ways"

well at least for
all the
trouble u can expect the video clip to be full length....but
no....it wasnt even
a 1/4....then waited till 2am....they send it over to ma
place....

2006-04-03T12:17:00.000+08:00

ma ipod is sick.....got problem .....so stress ...any1 hv any idea where it's service centre located....its like quoting funny icon n notes ler....

n im so argh......no mood seh.....back to tep...n fckin** plan for sm stupid farewell party..... its a scam.....arghhhh.....

shud i jog....like lazy.....hm...maybe lata...the weather is fine tho...ler....

sm help me wif ma ipod... = (

2006-03-29T09:01:00.000+08:00

"sing me a song, to ease ma troubled head,
wen the world stop me from
speakin ma mind i feel dead.....
sing me a rythem that will catch ma ears,
a tune that will make me 4get
my misery n tears...
gv me a beat that will touch ma soul,
4give me of all the sins in this
world i hold....

as the story unfold,
many visions i hold,
all the missions untold,
all the problems unsolve...

touch ma mind, body n soul...
gv me freedom of the mind,
unwind ma body,
n preach ma soul once again....

let me go of this buden that is killin me....
eating me up slowly from inside....
i beg u.....let me go....let me go....."

2006-03-27T09:31:00.000+08:00

the sad truth is that it's over.....the journey for the
warriors has ended...... warni(wirna), dale don dilah (fadhil), bisexual sundals
(marni), Ham Ham (jannah), tels (farain), susy(suhaila), Dokky2 (amir), Gay boy (zai) n myslf
fifi (elfi)..... together with guidence from our trainers n senior.....

The Gpa so called ended on a sad note not only not comin back w/o a
kemenagan but it marks the end of all the extreme long weekly n sat
trainings.... the warm up dance to the songs beep by PCD n goyang2 by Tamila
boys which nvr fails to cheer me up and i truely enjoy...n those intense
training that was at the same time Fun.....

this closure of a very
bonded chapter abt frenship, team work, growth, passion, sacrifices, gr8ness,
endurance, adptin, bravery, support for one another....made evry moment spent
wif u guys worth while....im sufferin the post GPA syndromes.....im already
missin u guys....like i dunno....i gonna miss joanna n fwens......

but
Millenia Institude were really Gr8...they r wat u call gr8ness......thus its
time to buck up ppl.....but its kinda hard especially when decisions are not in
ur hands.....u can speak ur mind but nth else.....im like tanpa
arah....production training will only take place weeks later.....i dun mind doin
the productions as long as the seniors comes prepared...its like a learnin point
ar.....coz its hard if evryth is inprepared... well i feel new...a new
person....we've grown ppl...time to improve n catch up wif the outside
world.....time to catch up wif the vision set.....let let go of those bad
moments n start new....i think i shud.....lets 4gv n move on....

already
sent all the pending msg.....like time to really sort my life..... im like ready
if u wanna throw me to another competition....th adreneline is juz
overwhelmin....so gr8....i wwanna continue performing....like dun mind doin this
all my life ar.....but opportunities takes time.....n i dunno if the othrs are
strong enuf...coz not evry1 is like me.....

sm of us r goin saperate
ways....sue n NCC, dok n zai dikir left the rest ar....tu pun...it'd be diffrent
a.....haiz...

in a months time i'll be a 3rd yr......a yr to graduation
n NS....am i ready?.... to let go of all this....i do think i need a break too
la...i'll take it as a training vacation...lol...as if it can be.... wonder wat
i'll get....shit la...nafa nanti....sit n reach...haiz.....im not flexi enuf
ar....maybe start trainin or smth......come'on.....n definately keep the habit
of the warm up dance...maybe even choragraph a new dancing
routine.....hahahaa....fun3....

so exited of wat the future holds....

lastly.....i seek forgiveness frm all....salah silap ku harap dimaaf
kan.....amin....

alhamdullilah...

2006-03-24T08:57:00.000+08:00

hey im back.....a day b4 the day itslf....im having goosebums all over ma
body n multiple adrenaline rushes for no definate reason.....

" what doesn't kill u make u stronger..."

so exited for tomolo..... its gonna be worth more than 8 bucks.....i hope.....insyaallah.... its so funny afta all the confessions n the last word yesterday afta practice....im like speechless yesterday so i was thinking of puttin it into words here... ps: tho i tinkk sm wont be able to read this entry be it b4 or afta show time....i luv u all....

To ma fellow PS-ians,

Its been a long journey made short
the past 4 months or so.....we've been seein each other for 5 days a week and
giving our all for trainings.... ur laughter r mine, so are ur tears....u guys
always make ma day....n true frens like u guys accepts each of us as who we
are n not try to chg them.....
from the bottom of ma heart i wanna thank each n evry1 of u guys
for the pointers, support, love, care, trust and courage....thanks for the
strength, commitment, advices and evryth else....
Thanks for all the sacrifices its all gonna
pay
off.....Insyaallah....
u guys r winners in ma heart.....but tomolo is a bonus....a day
to hv fun n put out our best.....i noe u guys will do me proud....i will too
be
at ma level best.....lets make the audience cry, tears of
joy......hahaha.....touch thier heart.....
im gonna definately miss this moments i share with guys....the
practices, the dance, i so gonna miss ur laughter....
for all we've been thru together.....tomolo is the day....for
the nite we all dun want to rmbr...it time for us to leave those behind......put
our heads up high...dun cry....its our show.......Lets do it NYP style....
i guess to summarize evryth....i luv u all.....
Hidup Melayu Asli
"Pusaka Seni Ke Tingkatan Lebih Tinggi...."
Salam,
Elfi Ismail

2006-03-16T13:04:00.000+08:00

well its been AWHILE SINCE I LAST UPDATE.....

TEP has gotten worse with nth to do at events n this flash assignment which i dun really noe how to do....submission is on monday....but i dunnoe how to do.....

so helpp....FLASH>>>anione???

im gonna die....

it's sad wen u bring a particular downfall into the team...so call ma mistake la....but ure 4given la...i tink we didnt inform u....

so lets put it aside.....
i dunno wat to say....coz i do nth at attachment except for sleepin in mcg room....hahahah....

niwae thx to all for ur doa, ma bro's back hm...alhamdulilah

"u feel it most wen u lose it"

2006-03-14T13:49:00.000+08:00

F**kin C for DMSM tep....i mean since wen the grades matter.... i noe wat i hv learnt....butn its so obvious he hates me till he hv to credit me wif a C....while the rest got As n Bs....some ddoesnt even deserve that...

he said im passionate abt ma work duh!!....i mean wat kind of freakin citeria do they judge on...or i shud he....4th lvler... but even so.....even mr. azhar wont be able to help me....

these whole tep thingy is juz a scam....teachin u how to suck up......well its the werkin world...i agree......****ponderin****

so in conclusion an employer will choose a stagnant employee over dat slacks over an improvin employee who is productive...

wateva lah....fuck.....wat the hell....i deserve a freakin A.....i noe that....

so ya......trust this words....this is that turnin pt...i make big smday.....in that industry....this is not the last of time u'll c me.....damn freeriders....damn sucker supervisor....mr ET....ure such a bitch....

2006-03-10T10:37:00.000+08:00

im so sleepy....hahaha.....i got a loudhailer....hahahaha

"TRANSISTOR MEGAPHONE"
WITH WHISTLE SIGNAL

so im goin crazy....testing...testing 1 2 3......

events at two yet nth is done....so cool....so slack....juz pray that evrth will be fine.....

goin friday prayers soon.....not that soon la but lata......got over yesterday...i guess the lack of sleep kinda got to me....but thx to sm1 who cheered me up n kept me company....

hahahha....its so strge i barely noe her yet she cud make me smile.....with the least thing we hv to talk abt....yet it's amazing how she can make me laugh or juz smile to maslf..... its juz a wonderful bond.....a bond wif a stranger i barely noe.....n now im her fwen....hahah....its juz so .....hm.... its juz a blessing ... n hv i mention she has charmin personality.... she's ma beautiful stranger.....=)

"smtimes the person u barely noe, can add spice to ur life..."

2006-03-09T22:06:00.000+08:00

im lost, i dunno wat i want..... maybe i made to think dat way....but it seems so now....

im so unstable.....n i worry abt the finals....whether i cud give ma all.....coz so far the trainings r one of the few things dat make me happy....well maybe its close to the only thing...

im worried abt maslf more then the others......conflictin ma own views....ma health, ma future, ma LIFE.....i dunno who i am animore.....thats the scariest point......

i wish that its juz another one of those days im feelin this way......

perhaps if i list it out...maybe i cud figure it out...

Wworried ABOUT
> ma flexibilty n ma strength...basically for nafa that is comin b4 ma ns enlistment...
> not havin time for ma fwen n family
> NS, yes it suddenly strike me.....
> ma looks...(ya cliche') basically i dun really feel good abt maslf animore....
> ma poly life.....graduation....its gonna be in less then a year time...
> pusaka seni... on whether i be able to continue performin wif them.....
> ma social life....im always withdrawn from others in a grp...its like a curse....
> ma unstability....
> ma temper: which juz make no sense...
>

haiz....im afraid la...yes i am.....of tomolo......which shud not be a matter......i noe we shud take our life day by day....but...

thats how it hangs, u'll say i need to overcome this fear......

im trying...

2006-03-07T11:25:00.000+08:00

this pic uploaded to this cool http://www.myheritage.com/
it scans ur pic n identify ur celebrity look alikes...

68% Caludia Schiffer 66% Leslie Chueng
64% Iris Chang 62% Jay Chou
53% Monica Lewinsky
52% Vladimir Kramnik 50% Jet Li
50% Jang Nara 49% Uday Hussein
47% Billie Joe Armstrong

2006-03-07T10:08:00.000+08:00

afta tep there will be a 2 weeks break..then we r doing classical modules....wohoooo....thats a gr8 new ive been waiting for centuries.....at last....im given life again......now can skip lectures to go out wif fwens.......do tutorial...n exams....finally a real exam....im gettin dumbber evry min i got into this biz course....hahaha....so yeah.....fwens once i start classical pls make plans wif me.....go out ...chill smwhr, club, tann.....wateva.....coz thats the last period of time i can enjoy life as a teen......quite a short 6 months.....sad...coz afta that i be goin for industrial attachments then, final project ....graduation n NS.....so bye2 to the teeen world by then.....

hm.....ma life so packed.....haiz....

niwae this mornin woke up late......n been late for attachment quite regular ....shit ar.....
n ma legs feel as though they can let go anytime... training as usual today....

"smtimes u wake up to an emptiness, n u only got urslf to blame...."

im bored....tep gettin suckier evryday...its ok....5 weeks left....- 1 week of blog leave....the ooutz.....freedom...

bored!!!!

Price Outz

2006-03-06T14:30:00.000+08:00

9.11am.....at tep EMRS.... like ma grp out to breakfast...shid busy tellin her tales to silah....all the monday routines...accompanied by shid takin self potraits of herslf.....

so drama pratices has been tiring me out.....hvnt had any sleep from yesterday......was out at bradell mc wif nad n sonia.....well salah sendiri....hahahha....

so here i am oonly back at emrs room at 2.30...thinkin that there's a meetin at two but who is meeting up wen evry 1 else sleepin too...

"even superman cant save evry1 in the world"

that is how im suppose to feeel....but im feelin otherwise.....like i dunno...evry1 in ma life start seekin resolution thru smoking......i juz dun understand all the crucial decision they r making.....
like seriously......all ma fwen are taken away...one by one r startin to smoke.....or even regain thier smokin habit......i smtimes blame myslf for not stoppin them......but to realise that its not ma fault n that each n evry1 of them had made that decision whether in the mids-of-time or in full aawareness..... it seems to be an amusing ttool to run or rebel against the main source of the problem....but it make no sense on how it help u run....juz for awhile.....it aint worth it aniwae......im juz freakin worried.....VERY.....

"for evry puff they take, it pains ma heart so...."

Elfi OUTz

2006-03-05T03:31:00.000+08:00

I MIsS U GuyS

Best yr one buddies.... my family ratizayidelfida
jamie sotong
maria nad big n small n hippo

my bros n sis
the blues.....
ma dramatic bro n sis
ma sweet heart n broz

aishx n yana.... ma bro ayid.....

adeq ku
hippo ducky chickwy & cowy

zul n anwar.....
A fo aniza.....

ma best best fwen, uul
nady nady nady

pusaka seni peeps
ma darl wawa

i luv u guys so much...im sorry i cant be there wen u need me...i really am....luv u all...

sob2....i miss ma fwens....i miss them all...i got no more sweet moment....funess we shared...im deprived of the time spent wif u guys....miss ya all so much....

2006-03-03T12:00:00.000+08:00

well like wat it seems to the eyes..im as haapy as can be...im a good lier.....that the person in the mirror am fooled wif wat of me......

"all thats left of me is what i pretend to be,
so together but so broken up inside"

its juz feel so mess up lately... i dun really noe wat i want...who i am...
i noe i cant depend on sm1 to piece me up together...

i feel lonely.... i do...even wif ppl ard me......

i miss ma fwens....nads ida zza.t mok sariina ct zuk n more....n ma bro yayid....ive been to pre-occupied wif attachment, work & drama.....i luv ma drama peeps...but i miss the rest....like adeq and all.....

i wanna cry but these teear are tuck beneath the eye surface....wen i look int the mirror...i smile....not wanting to accept the fact that im down or misery.....
coz thats not the life i want.....

smtime i rush to much for the good stuff....that i bearly hv time to enjoy it...maybe its juz me i need to take it slow.....juz take it slow...

"we're ordinary ppl, we dunno which way to go....
coz we're ordinary ppl, i think we shud juz take it slow....."

today bodem....werkin later....stress abt the roster...hope i can solve it....i pray.....

2006-03-02T11:13:00.000+08:00

i noe i shudnt juz trust cuz it make so vulnerable.....yes that wat i am now....a thin piece of ice that can melt or break anytime under pressure....im not puttin the blame on any1....but so wat the fuck......it that fuckin freakin world.....it juz plays wif u....bring u n fly u up high.....then drop n let go of u from up high......

so tired n exhausted....training push to 4.30pm today......

tutu is amusing!!!!

niwae.... im broken as sop to say.....maybe its juz the days......but i'll juz dance all this away....like literally dance it off.....